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Ahhh niXit... sometimes cuddly and helpful, like a little kitten, other times he'll turn on you and tear you a new one... this qualifies him as a rabid cat: 
And Jack B... never helpful, always sarcastic as if he were badly scarred... so long ago. He limps along, no one really pays attention, and if he weren't so narcissistic, someone might actually feel sorry for him. Also, he has small testicles - so this qualifies him as the 3-Legged Dog (with small testicles): 
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